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Its been two months and I’m back to trying to wrap my head around this marriage. The man he is today is a kind, loving, generous, sweet, intelligent, successful man. And he is the father of my children, and a good father. We don’t have to sell the house, our home remains intact. On the other hand, I see the marriages of my friends and family members and, while they are not perfect and while I know that I can never really know what goes on in other marriages, there is a sort of… You know that feeling like, if you could do it all over again, of course you’d marry him? That you just accept him for all he is, and he accepts you, and that is what love is? lack of utter brokenness that I miss, that I know I can never regain with my husband, and that makes me so sad. I have gained a new respect for him because of these years of hard work. I did not want it to be a one-night stand.” While I could never tell you how to prevent having such disappointments in the future from one-night stands, I would like to shed some light of honest reality of some of the typical reasons for such male behavior.If nothing else, understanding this behavior should help any woman, if not avoid, at least handle these experiences better.He will be looking for that single, one-time physical satisfaction from that encounter with a woman, but he will want nothing more from her in the future.A typical woman might be justifiably mislead by a guy’s affectionate behavior towards her when they start seeing each other, believing that his touching her is a sign of possibly genuine care and a long-term interest, but more often or not, this sensuality is just an attempt to escalate the interaction toward a one-night stand – a one-time sexual experience and nothing further.I had to face the fact that while we both shared a pain about all of this, he has the privilege of still being madly in love with me, of seeing me intact and good and worthy, and I remain…broken.
So, don’t be mislead by a guy’s affection, and don’t judge his intentions about you based on how much you think he is attracted to you at one given evening when you are out, especially if your date takes place before you had sex with him.
Knowing how to recognize when a one night stand is coming your way decide whether this is really what you want at that given time with that particular guy.
My story is about how my husband has successfully managed his recovery from Sex Addiction, but the deep wounds that his addiction caused still remain. Four years ago, my husband admitted to sleeping with prostitutes and strippers, as well as an enormous porn and sex chat addiction, during the first four years of our marriage, including during both of my pregnancies. At the time, we were living in North Carolina so that he could go to graduate school; we had no friends or family or community, and we had a toddler and a newborn.
This is especially true if the guy seems to be too nice, too sweet and too accommodating.
If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t, and if he acts like a sleazy salesman, he might just be looking to score. Some can be exciting adventures which will leave great memories, while others will make you feel dirty and guilty.